Checking In

I have been thinking about you guys lately. It's pretty amazing to think about all that has happened and all that God has done in all our lives since we used to chill on the patio behind Dave's or my house years ago. Heck, a lot has happened since we convened Man Night Reunion in Charleston last January. Since a fall trip didn't work out, what about another reunion in the quiet period just after the holidays? Does anyone have an opening?

1. Biggest thing that's happened in your life over the past 3 months?

Since April, Meg and I have wrestling with a sense that God is awakening (or re-awakening)some type of calling on our lives. This would be something to talk about in person (and I would love to talk about with you guys). Suffice it to say now, that we could use prayer.

2. Most challenging thing that's going on right now in your world?

Well, #1 would qualify. Also, parenting a two-year old. I'm also trying to take charge of my schedule. Between the busy-ness of family, church and work, as well as my general laziness and procrastination I think I lost control of my time. I end up not doing things that I should do/want to do (like entries on this blog, or calling Dave back).I am trying to take it back. That has been a challenge.

3. Best meal you've eat'n (because who doesn't love food)

I definitely love me some food. It's hard to point to one meal. But, Meg made me a hamburger three weeks ago that was simply amazing. The beef was good quality and perfectly cooked and all the toppings just blended together perfectly. She also made a blueberry cobbler back around June with a creme anglaise poured over it that was one of the best things I have ever eaten. Jeremy can attest to the cobbler.

4. Spiritually what are you wrestling with or learning right now?

See #1 and #2. Also, lust. Man, it just doesn't die.

5. Reading anything?

I've been reading a lot of stuff on the Holy Spirit over the past two months. It was for a study we've been doing on Sunday mornings. But, I'm just studying it for myself now. I'm reading an abridgment of Owen's work on the Holy Spririt, Francis Chan's new book "The Forgotten God", as well as Martyn Lloyd Jones' lectures on Revival. I feel my spiritual hunger and sensitivity has been raised as I have been studying the presence and power of the Holy Spirit.

My b

Hey guys. It's been too long since I've posted here.

My b.

Been thinking about y'all a lot lately as I take a look at the future and where Lexie and I will eventually settle after she finishes school next December. It's intimidating to say the least, and my one hope for wherever we end up is that it'll either be near (same town, maybe?) some of you guys or that I'll be able to find a community of friends as good as y'all have been.

And now for the 5 questions:

1. Biggest thing in my life - Well, as you can probably guess, my engagement is the biggest thing that's happened to me lately. Our relationship has been getting deeper and deeper since then, and it's just made me even more sure of my decision to marry Lexie. We've been talking more honestly with each other, and I've seen huge positive changes in myself and in Lexie as we strengthen our communication. It's been great.

2. Most challenging thing: I've got a job right now that's pretty great (admin asst for an after-school program), but it keeps me from seeing Lexie much until the weekend. Since it's college football season, most Saturdays I just want to sit at home and watch college football either by myself or with a couple other guys. So the challenging part is just learning how to best use my time now that I'm not the only one who cares about how I spend my time. It's been a tough thing ever since Lexie and I have been dating, but it's definitely intensified since we've been engaged.

3. Best meal: The night of our engagement we went to a restaurant downtown called Vetri. It was and will continue to be the best food I've ever tasted. I never knew food could taste as good as the nine courses they put in front of us that night. Any description wouldn't do it justice.

4. Spiritual challenges: The most challenging thing that I've been working through has been trying to confess and repent more often. I've still been going to a counselor to talk about some Christianity-related doubts and frustrations I've been having for a long time, and one of the things we've been talking about is my conception of sin and my guilt before God. Bottom line is that I typically do think of myself as sinful and guilty, but I don't usually think it's that big of a deal since it's pretty much par for the course as a human. So to help me think more about my relationship to God, I'm trying to repent as soon as I catch myself sinning. My hope is that it'll help me think more about my sin vertically instead of just horizontally.

5. Reading: Lexie's uncle is this brilliant guy who's a professor of history and religious studies at Yale, and he wrote a good book on the Civil War that I've been reading. I've also been reading a book about interpretation and epistemology that I heard about while I was at l'Abri. As for Scripture, I've been reading John and going through NT Wright's book on that.

Gotta run now and get ready for a hot date tonight to celebrate my one year anniversary with Lexie. We're eating Vietnamese food and going to see Zombieland. Yeah. I hit the jackpot.

Some wisdom for all the newly engaged men.

Some wisdom for all the newly engaged men...


Congratulations guys excited for you.

(saw this book in Barnes, thought it was appropriate for this blog)

Hello all! I too am one of the one's that let busyness get in the way of blogging. Well, communicating in anyway to be honest. So here is my attempt, again.

1. Biggest thing that's happened in your life over the past 3 months?

well, a few things actually. One we have completely left the church we moved to AL to help start. Long sorry short, it became a very authoritative discipleship/shepherd type movement and then they started telling lies about us to people and told people not to talk to us and thats just the beginning. no need to get into anything else. I got a promotion at work, I am now a manager!
2. Most challenging thing that's going on right now in your world?

Challenging? hmmm. well learning a new job. Trying not to be bitter, which honestly I have been doing pretty good. Gods grace has definitely be with us through these past couple months. It's amazing how when you do things in the prober way (confronting and leaving) according to scripture how God truly does provide. (thanks to Randy and Dave for helping in that)
3. Best meal you've eat'n (because who doesn't love food)

the best meal has come from my own grill! I have challenged myself to learn how to grill the best chicken, steak, and burgers. I will have to say i have almost mastered it! It's all about preparation, using the write marinade and seasoning and marinading it for the right about of time, cooking at the right temp and for the right amount of time and using to right cut of meat. Most important key i will share is only flip the meat once! Some friends here have labeled my burger "The Joel Burger" and ask for it at least once a week. Yes, I take pride it this new ability!
4. Spiritually what are you wrestling with or learning right now?

This is something that I have been learning/pondering/ studying about for a while, Church. What is it? Is what we see today the way it is suppose to be? What is right and what isn't? Can I be apart of the institutional church? If it is what it is suppose to be then what in it is of God and what is of Men?
5. Reading anything?

I am reading 'Re-imagining Church" by Frank Viola

Our Fall curriculum

James and Iain this is for you.

Roll Call & Response to 5 Questions

I'm one of the ones who let busy-ness take me and keep me away from connecting here enough.

So here are my answers to what Dave proposed as "Maybe 5 questions"

1. Biggest thing that's happened in your life over the past 3 months?

Having my peaceful world turned upside down by the turmoils and burdens of 3 particular "Timothy" guys.

Simply put, God called my bluff on discipling and "doing life" with people in all situations as a brother and friend:

grieving with them, helping them find a job, out of homelessness, crying thru a failing marriage.

2. Most challenging thing that's going on right now in your world?
Fundraising for Full-time Permanent Ministry in France

3. Best meal you've eat'n (because who doesn't love food)

Jess Sagun made cube steak and gravy and mashed potatoes. Best homecooked meal this year!

4. Spiritually what are you wrestling with or learning right now?
Surrendering parts of myself to God. My whole heart. Realizing I need forgiveness not just for my sin but for the wrong motivations for my "righteous good works".

5. Reading anything?

Prodigal God by Tim Keller

Too Small To Ignore by Wes Stafford

Titus, Habakkuk

Just wanna add that Leadership Summit rocked my face off. Day 1 especially from Hybels to Keller to Harvey Carey. I pray we who attended will no longer be content to play church but to be the church 24/7. That was the gist behind every message...thru the transformative power of the Gospel Jesus.

So it's been a while...

I'm probably not the only one that has noticed our little band of brothers has been quiet over the past months. I realize there are a ton of reasons for this. Yet I also know there are some big things happening in our lives i'm sure the council would like to share in. For example Martin just drove the country from end to end, Conley just got his own place in Pgh. Doing his part to keep Larwenceville dangerous. the list can go on...

Perhaps i'm asking for a role call....

Maybe 5 questions
1. Biggest thing that's happened in your life over the past 3 months?
2. Most challenging thing that's going on right now in your world?
3. Best meal you've eat'n (because who doesn't love food)
4. Spiritually what are you wrestling with or learning right now?
5. Reading anything?

That said i'll try to get mine in before I leave for a week away at a summer camp with Middle School students.

In other news I found this on the website... http://revolutionaryman.com It's intriguing if nothing else. *the dude claims to be "spiritual" but not religious this becomes obvious when he talks of prayer. That being said I think it raises some good issues rarely addressed in Christian circles. I guess what i'm going for in this is if the secular world can shoot for stuff like this (off of what whatever world view you choose) then why is it so hard in church?

The Purpose and Value of a Men’s Group

July 15th, 2009

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Since 1991 I have been in men-only groups in a variety of settings. In college I lived with 17 men for three years. I then worked for my fraternity for two years traveling the country facilitating conversation and leadership workshops with only men.

For the past eleven years I have led wilderness rite-of-passage trips with boys and men. I have even led leadership workshops at fraternity conventions with 1000+ men. I have spent thousands of hours with just men in a variety of settings.

But nothing quite compares to what happens when 8-12 guys sit in a circle and get real.

I have been in a men’s group for the past five years and these guys have witnessed me in all my colors. They have supported me and challenged me through two breakups, marriage, fathering a kid, building a business and much more.

Currently, I am leading a men’s group with 8 other men for 108-days to see what is possible when a small group of men collaborate and really work on themselves toward a greater purpose.

What about you? When was the last time you got real with another man and showed yourself to him? When was the last time another man called you on your bullshit? When was the last time you sobbed in front of another man?

Purpose & Value of a Men’s Group

In my view the purpose of any men’s group is multi-faceted. Likewise, the value is not only very subjective, it runs many layers deep. Try joining one and see what value you receive.

In the men’s work I have done for 18 years, I have recently pinpointed what I call the nine P’s in men’s personal development that are essential for a man to know and learn if he is to grow and evolve. And, the nine P’s apply to men’s groups.

The nine P’s

Partnership. This is the biggest “P” of all. This is about relationship. Ever heard of a business partner? An accountability partner at the gym? A partner for life? Like it or not, a men’s group is a committed partnership. Even if you don’t like a guy in your men’s group, you get to practice being in partnership, in relationship, with him. You are there to hold each other accountable to what you say you will do.

When you join a men’s group, you make a commitment to the men in your group to stay in the fire of the relationship without bailing out. For most guys, when things get hard, they just leave. For guys in a serious men’s group, they get in the ring and stay in the ring. When it’s time to leave, it gets talked about directly.

Power. Most men just don’t have access to their full conscious power as a man. Men’s groups help you get in touch with your full power–express it, share it and be witnessed in it.

Purpose. A common thread in a men’s group is the common purpose which we are discussing here. But within the context of the group purpose is each individual purpose. Do you know why you are on the planet? What is your life’s purpose? A men’s group can help you explore this.

Presence. A men’s group without presence is a big fat waste of time. It’s just another intellectual discussion about concepts. When men learn to become present with their experience in the moment, they are more likely to feel and more likely to be congruent. In a men’s group, you learn tools to help you “get present.”

Principled. Essentially, this means integrity. You do what you say you will do because you know your values and where you stand. You know yourself well enough to have principles. However, contrary to a lot of men, these are constantly evolving to support your evolution as a man.

Practice. Men’s groups are all about practice for the real world. Just like a basketball player practices free-throws so he is more likely to sink them in the big game, when men practice being authentically themselves, they are more likely to stay authentic and open in the real world.

For example, I might practice saying something hard in my men’s group to another man, so that I have more confidence to say it to my boss the following day.

In a group of guys in this context, you practice:

• congruence–(thoughts, words, & actions all line up)
• being authentic (being who you really are without hiding)
• taking responsibility
• openness, open heartedness (really listening to, and understanding, others)
• feeling your feelings
• speaking your truth & skillful communication (i.e. dealing with conflict)

Prayer. Yup, prayer. I’m not religious, but I am a spiritual dude. Prayer may happen in the beginning or end of a group. Shout outs to whatever you believe in or to someone you love. Asking for guidance, wisdom for yourself, the men in the circle or sending a prayer to someone you love.

Possibility. Ah yes, what is possible for you and each man in the group? Individually? Collectively? More on possibility here.

Play. A group of guys getting together in this way can be very serious. That’s why we need to lighten up in every group and have some fun. This can happen before, during or after your group. I’m a serious guy, so play is critical for me to stay open to my smile, to my laughter and to having fun with bros I care about.

For example, the men’s group I’ve been in for the past five years just implemented a monthly night to celebrate together and play together.

Why Not Turn To Women For Support?

It is a common experience among men to go to their girlfriends or wives for support, emotional or otherwise. Women get tired of this dynamic. They don’t want to be your lover and your mother. Women tell me all the time how they wish their partner had more quality man friends.

Only seeking support from women is a slippery slope. That is why it is critical to get some honest feedback from your fellow men. We need support and wisdom from both sexes if we want to grow as men.

What Men’s Groups Are Not:

Don’t worry, men’s groups are not group therapy, although they can be very therapeutic. Men’s groups are not a bunch of guys sitting around a fire singing Kumbaya. Men’s groups are not a bunch of weird freaky men just talking about their feelings (although I can be weird and freaky and talk about my feelings).

Men’s groups are definetly not for dudes who would rather keep things very much on the surface and who are afraid of intimacy, although a group can help with that guy’s fears.

Remember, a men’s group is for a brave man who is willing to face the music of his own life. There are men’s groups all over the world right now, each with it’s own unique flavor and purpose.

A men’s group can be a great support when you are going through a tough time in your life and need support. A men’s group can also be a place where you celebrate the victories in your life with great people and explore what is possible in your life. Listen to a few men discuss the value of a men’s group here.

Ultimately, a men’s group will challenge you to be who you are without hesitation, reservation or apology so that you can be the powerful guy you are who is free, fulfilled and full of energy to serve the world."

Dave here again: are we planning a camping trip this fall??

My daily...

So i've committed to doing 50 of these every day...

This is for you Dave!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLGLBVSpBzY&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Estandfirminfaith%2Ecom%2Findex%2Ephp%2Fsite%2Farticle%2F23476%2F&feature=player_embedded

Grill

WAKE UP PPL the blog is silent and i know for a fact that you ppl are up to things the council wants to hear about.

I'll lead in with this....
This was parked outside of the church this morning let me explain it's a HUGE Man grill. Not only is the entire thing diamond plated but it's a combo of propane grill and 2 propane boilers with two diamond plated propane tank housings and a grill box for all your utensils. It is the most amazing grill I've ever seen up close. Be inspired now go grill meat.